Love Loudly

girly fact #3

you look really hot playing sudoku in bed

girly fact #2

I would like to call you my boo

finishing this bottle of wine, thinking…

right now I wish you would just show up at my door, my feelings have become strong and it’s reaching the point where I want to be with you more and more. I would like to tell you about my daily frustrations, eat dinner with you and lay next to you in bed any chance I can because you’re so wonderful, I’m truly happy when I’m around you. I use the word happy a lot when describing you, I know it’s because I gave up on myself being happy with someone and honestly didn’t think I would find someone like you for a while. ‘Someone like you’ I bet you wonder what makes you so different, your kind, heartfelt kind, your actions are a reflection of what you feel and I can see it, I can feel it. I have always looked at you as a nice person but now I see you as one of the better people I know, it warms me to think that I could be close to someone as you, I think that’s one of the main reasons I have begun to fall like I have. I forget when I’m around you, my high strung habits and stressful thoughts go right out the window when we’re together, sometimes my dorky and girly tendancies kick in because you still give me the butterflies. I can just be, it’s relaxing, I don’t know how you do it but I don’t want to figure it out.

(note: written on February, 22, 2012)

girly fact #1:

I like wearing your t-shirts.

my valentine

There are romantic moments I wish for, I think it comes from watching too many chic flicks, but still I wish for them, I hope that one day it will happen to me. I don’t think romance is lost, I just know I haven’t found anyone that wants to be romantic with me. Until you showed up at my door with about six bags of groceries, two bottles of wine and a face that was happy to see me. I see now that those moments do happen, it’s not just in the movies, they happen to real people, it’s real romance, in real life.

You’re every kind of sweet I’ve never had and you’re everything I wasn’t looking for…these moments are better in real life than watching in a movie, mostly because these moments are with you.

you’re some kind of wonderful

I don’t remember the last time I was this happy.

In your arms…

It’s the one touch I look forward to when we spend a night together, it’s a safe place I didn’t know still existed with a man, somewhere I feel wanted and appreciated, it feels right, I want to stay there longer always, it’s a time when I close my eyes and feel grateful you are the one holding me, it makes me smile, there’s a happy warmth when my hand is on your chest and you hold it, it’s when I like you more, when I’m assured this could be real, where any worry leaves my mind and I can relax, something inside says ‘he has the kindest heart’, it’s where I find myself more and more these days, a favorite nook to curl up in, where we can be together, I adore being in your arms.

Do I dare ask…or just let it happen?

It’s been a few weeks now, ever since we got back from the holidays I’ve seen you every weekend, sometimes three or four days a week, I like that. I go back and forth in my head if I should ask what’s going on between us, just when I get the courage to speak up something really great happens and I feel as if I don’t have to ask anymore. For example, this weekend when we were laying around your apartment, drinking coffee, looking at art books…I wanted to ask, but I felt so comfortable it wasn’t important to have an answer. I don’t need a label, we don’t really need to have a long conversation about feelings, I think when it comes to this annoying thing we call ‘dating’, there is only one simple factor…do you genuinely like me?

Because, I like you…just you and I enjoy being around you, you make me happy.

I like when you hold my hand

On the beach I told Rachel you were just my friend, at that moment I wasn’t sure to be honest. Attractive…yes, sense of humor…of course, but I wasn’t sure if there was that spark to make everything better? I use the word better not as if anything between you and I was bad, but I wasn’t in the best place for anything more, even to think about it, I have been beat down, a lot and I just didn’t know. Fast forward to the night when I asked you to drive me home, classic high school move on my part, but seemed like the perfect moment to see if these crush feelings could be true. No innuendos, I promise, funny coincidence perhaps but it broke my ice. This is when the ‘liking’ starts to really happen, those thoughts of ‘what is he thinking’, ‘should I text him’ and other stupid over thought ideas run threw my head like a typical girl. As I see you more, I look at you differently…I think it’s a combination of learning how kind of a person you truly are and that I don’t want to just be your friend anymore. If you asked me when I started to feel this way or why, it’s a simple answer, you touched me, literally…small of my back, top of my thigh, holding my hand and kissing my lips. But it might not be the reason you think, it’s because I don’t remember the last time a man has genuinely touched me but I’m happy it was you. I get nervous around you now at times because I honestly like you, it’s tricky to see if it’s a two way street, but I keep telling myself it is, not because of some romantic future I dream up in my sleep but I just want to be happy and I think if you like me too we could be. I like when you hold my hand, could be my favorite thing to think about these days when I need to smile, I hope you like it when I hold yours too.

(note: written on January, 12, 2012)